Keeping My Cool; I'm Back at School

These past few weeks have been a steady uphill battle of combating anxiety, fear of failure and the new reality of less free time.  I got accepted this summer to Eastern Mennonite University to pursue my Bachelors degree in nursing.  And while I heard the very positive feedback about the program; I still met doing it with lots if reluctance.  It's not like I have a choice though.  Anyone semi- familiar with my profession or the situation knows it's a requirement for what I do by a certain time period.  It was something I wanted to do anyway, but the time limit was the push to do it now.

I remember loving the first day of school growing up.  It usually meant new sneakers, a fresh outfit, connecting with old friends again and a blank slate.  When I thought about going back to school this summer I can still feel my blood vessels constrict and the room feeling significantly less oxygenated. Now there is so much more at stake and unknowns. Memories of sweet school days have been replaced by meticulously balancing a schedule, having a teacher again, breakout of stress induced adult acne, long papers to write, the reality of being $20,000 lighter and those crazy heart palpitations I get when waiting for grades to come back.  Nothing about this seems fun or exciting.  I can think of so much more I wold rather do at this point in my life.

Now I'm three weeks in school.  This is the part where I turn on the optimism, say "It's great!  I love it!" and give a report of how despite my fears in the beginning, I'm growing to enjoy it.  And while the school is great, the people are nice and the assignments are bearable; I still feel qualms or anxiousness about it.  Still many unknowns and they will always be there until I'm through completely.  I believe It's matter of embracing the fear and diving in; thinking about how it will help me professionally; and diving into all the love and support from family, friends and even the school provides.

So here I am, working full time and back in school.  Not really the dream or standard at this this point in my life. I bet no one would want to trade with me, but I know that despite my hesitations, self doubts and financial sacrifices that this is exactly where I need to be.  I know the Lord has me here at this school for a reason. If I wasn't there I would probably feel the same way.  Being back in school really does provide me opportunities to lean on him and embrace the truth and peace he offers so freely.  the Bible also says we should rejoice in all circumstances; not just when we have control, we're aware of tomorrow,  and life is smooth.  Simply having breath in our lungs and shoes on our feet is means to be thankful.   Below are a few verses that have been giving me a better perspective these past few weeks.

Psalm 56:3 "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you."

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!"

Deuteronomy 12:7 "There also you and your households shall eat before the Lord your God, and rejoice in all your undertakings in which the Lord your God has blessed you."

I hope these verses encourage you in whatever your fears or endeavors are this week.  The truth that God is always bigger than myself, my ideals or anything I possess myself is comforting, humbling and will help me remain on the right track.  Knowing that I'm not alone in the gray, deep ocean of school keeps me afloat as well.

Semi-new dress for school. (Thanks, Ivan!) 







First day of school vibes...

My new reality for the next 18 months:  Homework on bed for the win. 

Calloused Hands and A Punched Nose

When my thumb rubs around the inside of my palm I feel all the callouses I've had for years.  I secretly love them and hope they never go away.  They represent years cleaning houses, maneuvering vacuums and carrying buckets. Even though I don't do that kind of work like I used to, I love that the callouses are still there reminding me to never forget.  Nowadays, whenever I do any heavy house or yard work I feel the skin on my hands get a little more worn and tough, almost like they remember a time they were once in a more laborious state.

I'd like to think that sometimes we can become calloused to the harshness of life that is not physical as well.  Things like negative self talk and insults from other people (even if it's meant to be funny).  I remember the first time a doctor snapped at me.  My pupils probably dilated the size of saucers and my heart sank to the bottom of my chest.  I replayed the incident in my head for longer then Id like to admit.  Now, after a few more times of it happening;  the incident will just roll off like melted butter on a potato.  Do I enjoy it? No. I still get that same feeling I had when it happened the first time, only this time it's much less severe.  Now I don't carry it home and think about it the next day.  I've become calloused or toughened to that aspect of my job.  Alongside that is any negative self talk I've built up over the years.  This runs the gamut from anything regarding physical appearance, personality traits or habits I've accumulated.  I've noticed that I have some of the same thinking patterns I've had for years.  Since they've been in my head for so long I barely notice them.  They are more like a pesky nuisance.  However, if one or two build up subconsciously, I can start to feel pretty lousy and not know why.  A while ago I really started to pick up on this and have really been doing better. I think we can all relate to this in some way.

Unlike calluses that are slowly built up overtime and take a while to develop, getting punched in the nose (unexpectedly) is much different.  First,  you're shocked. There's this brief moment right at onset where you don't feel any pain, because you're so surprised at first.  You think "Why is this happening to me?" or simply "Oh my gosh, I'm getting punched in the nose!" Then milliseconds later the pain sets in.  Deep pain.  Weird pain from nerves you forgot were there because you don't get punched in the nose everyday. Suddenly you're aware of your sinuses on the inside of your face that you never noticed before. After the pain come anger. "Who does he/she think they are?!" The sympathetic nervous system (SNS or "fight to flight response") is in overdrive and you want to fight back, run, and give this person a piece of your mind all at once.  After the anger, regardless of what you did with your response is some lingering pain that stays with you for a few hours or days depending on the severity of the nose punch.  After a few days the bruising sets in, yet you've built an acceptance to the event.  Life goes on and there are other things to think about and responsibilities to complete. Yet every time you pass a mirror and see the bruises on your face the memories quickly come back.  The place you were at, who you were with, the smells and even what you said before it happened can flood your mind.  It's normal to even relive a stage in the emotions you experienced when it happened.  Every nose-punch story is different and has it's unique twists and turns, but those are the general stages one goes through with a punch to the face.

 Like callouses not just being physical, getting punched in the nose doesn't have to be either. a few general examples are finding out close friends are talking about you, discovering someone you trust turned their back on you, a boyfriend/ spouse cheated on you, attacks for no reason or finding out someone stole from you.  If anything like this happens it's gut wrenching and an unfortunate pivotal life moment.

The motivation for this post is because it's personal.  A few weeks ago this figuratively happened to me in the form of a snappy, rude text.  I was completely blindsided by this person and it was insulting on a few levels.  With out going into the dirty details or complicity of it, I'll just say this message was based on something that actually happened, but was totally untrue of me.   I'll try to describe the stages I went through as they directly correlate with physically being punched in the nose.  First, the shock came.  I opened my phone and read a few highlight words from the text and immediately felt the heart race.  Thank goodness my boyfriend was there. Next came the pain.  I pulled off to the side of road to read the message clearer while all the more feeling a mix of shock and pain at the same time.  Next came the adrenaline and wanting to make the situation right in my own way. "She doesn't understand! We need to call her!"  My mom and I tried to reach out to this person, but it didn't really get us anywhere.  Both my poor mother and I lost sleep that night.  Anger was definitely in my blood and that's an emotion I'm not used to feeling.  I wanted to give this person a piece of my mind.  The next day and a few days after the resolution phase came.  It sure took its sweet time coming though.  A lot of thought, prayer and diversional activity later;  I'm confidently still in the resolution phase.  The dust has settled so-to-say and the person is aware of the actual facts.  I did want to talk to this person face to face, but time and opportunity has not allowed.  I look forward to that time though for proper closure.  Maybe it's best that it's been a few weeks so we're all more calm and rational.  Even just writing about this has made me emotionally relive the event.

If this experience this summer taught me anything it's to ALWAYS KNOW THE FACTS BEFORE ASSUMING ANYTHING.  Especially if you're going to judge or message another person and take any quick action. This whole thing could have easily been avoided had this person simply known the story. Knowing the story comes by asking questions. This person had a right to feel the way they did based on the story they knew.  However, the story didn't come from the right source. Regardless of if the story was true or not, the reaction was inappropriate.  I know I have been quick to overreact in the past, but now I'm more aware of how my reactions affect others.  I also learned it's normal, okay and actually good to feel emotions like anger.  It's how you follow through with them that matters.  Based off scripture we should go to the offending person and talk it out.  This is a challenge, but the best way for closure.

I hope you all enjoy the remaining end of this glorious summer!
Peace and Love

25 Things

Hello readers near and far!

I'm coming at you live from a beautiful, yet undisclosable location.  I am staying at a place that is nothing short of paradise in my opinion. For some reason there's nothing like staying somewhere else for a fresh dose of inspiration and for a chance to recalibrate priorities. This summer has been running as quickly as dry sand through open fingers. When my birthday rolls around, (August 9, hollaaa!!) that is my cue that this warm season isn't getting any longer and I ought to enjoy and savor it for all its worth.

Since my birthday was yesterday I thought it would be fun to think of 25 things I learned while I was 25.  My day was kind of quiet yesterday (just how this introvert likes it) which gave me ample time to reflect on the past year.

1. God answers the smallest, most small scaled prayers as well as the big prayers.  I've seen this happen so many times this past year.

2. Acne doesn't go away in the late teens.

3. Running remains the number one way to destress, get out complicated thoughts, sort through emotions, enjoy scenery and listen to new music all while getting a workout.

4.  You can't control how people will react to situations.  You can only control how you respond.

5. It is always best to completely listen to what someone is saying or asking, process it, and then speak.

6. Routine is great, but it should never hinder you from seeing what else world has to offer.

7. Spontaneous day trips are more than fun getaways.  By taking time for a quick trip away; you are essentially looking at the world through a different lens and will return to your life with a piece of your travels in your heart forever.

8. It is always worth it to drive two hours for hot doughnuts and one hour for fresh cookies just because.

9.  Friendships are amazing and a breath of fresh air.  Long time friends, new friends, church friends and work friends all have a special place in my heart.

10. Struggle loves isolation and breeds in the lie that one is all alone.  Finding someone who has dealt with the same issues brings light to the darkness, proves no one is alone and provides accountability and companionship.

11. There is no price tag for peace of mind.

12. Embrace the qualities that make you unlike anyone else.  At the end of the day it's how you were made.  The world needs your uniqueness.  It was created for a reason, and deserves to be celebrated.  Life is too short to dull your sparkle, just for the sake of fitting in.

13.  Before drawing to any rash, fast conclusions; it is always best to hear out the whole story and then react appropriately.

14.  People will let you down.  Friends, family, church people, health care workers, boyfriends, girlfriends, educators, employees and employers.  I will let people down.  People are humans thus fallible.  There is a fine balance of learning to trust, yet not putting all your faith in one person no matter how awesome they are. Only God is 100% faithful and deserving of our 100% trust.

15.  Ice cream can turn into the perfect meal anytime of day.  Pairing it with coffee is a magical combination.

16. Really when you least expect it, a really great guy will come around.

17.  Smiling, positivity and being on time will always go far.

18. It's good to have big, wild dreams as well as practical tasks to conquer daily.

19.  Education is forever and knowledge is power.  This fall I will be attending Eastern Mennonite University to pursue my Bachelors of Science in Nursing.

20. Stretching is so good for your body (especially as it ages.)

21. Having to let go or  making it known you need help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength.

22. A hot shower with some good smelling soap has almost the same effect as a run in terms of feeling refreshed.

23. Having less clothes and "stuff" allow for clearer thinking a greater creativity with making outfits.

24. Instead of holding onto them, getting rid of clothes that once fit (or look cool, but don't fit well)  is very refreshing.  I used to like to hold onto items for nostalgia, my mom liked it,  or maybe by some off chance I'd be a size 0 again.  However, I think those day are far over and I'm happy with a more streamlined wardrobe.

25.  Accepting correction is a sign of maturity and willingness to grow.  Taking responsibility shows true womanhood/ manhood.  However don't let ANYONE undermine you or try to define your worth. This world is full of weak, insecure people who feel better by putting others down.  Do what you can to keep those people out of your life.  Keep your back straight and head high.  You're unique, special and here for a reason.

Well, thats a wrap.  And just like that I'm 26.  I have so much more to learn and look forward to continuing sharing thoughts through this medium.  If you have any questions, want to chat or hang out; hit me up!  I hope you are able to savor the sweetness and warmth the rest of the summer has to offer.

One of the highlights of being 25 was going to NYC multiple times.  Here's some of my favorite pics.

Running Around

And into the open I'll fly and I'll soar
To a place where Im free
Where no one keeps score

Why I love running
And what I learned in the process

Lately and for a long time I feel as though I've been a closet runner.  What I mean by that is it's not the first thing I like to talk about and I don't like to advertise how much I love it.  The reasoning behind this is because I don't have any outstanding talent in the sport.  I never placed in a state meet, I normally don't run races and I wouldn't consider myself as hardcore as other people.  Nonetheless, I love it and have been running for a steady ten years.

It all started with the seventh grade mile in gym class. Having never pegged myself as the athletic type I figured this would just be another humiliating feat to add onto my junior high insecurities.  When the whistle blew I was off and surprisingly found that I was staying with some of the people I thought would blow me in the dust.  When the race was over I felt an exhilaration and sense of freedom I never experienced.  I learned that running made me happy and I could accomplish something I didn't think was possible.

Around this time a few people talked to me about going out for track.  I really wanted to, but fear of failure was holding be back. I told them I wasn't ready.  I would go for runs by myself, but dreamed I had the courage to participate on a team.  Looking back, those were really precious times because I was teaching myself how to run longer distances and set a pace.

When I was fourteen I had some difficult personal issues going on in my life.  I ran to distract myself, sort out emotions and relinquish control I felt I had no sense of.  I learned that no matter what I went through in life I would have a physical, tangible activity I could do that would help me feel better.

I ran track all four years in high school, but really only peaked my junior and senior year.  I remember my freshman year I dreamed of being a sprinter, but found I was more suited for longer distances.  I wasn't thrilled at first and the training was brutal.  I got last place and even lapped by older girls in a lot of the races.  The glue that kept me stuck to running was an amazing coach and teammates.  No matter where I was on the track or in a race I could hear either Coach Duane or one of the distance girls yelling words of encouragement.  Through the years, my coach was always just as excited about a new personal best time no matter what level I was running at.  I learned in high school that running is a skill, a sport, and something almost sacred.  It requires time and attention to detail.  My time running in high school set such a solid foundation on inner strength and stamina that I would need later in life.

When I was seventeen I had another difficult event in my life. Sometimes I felt alone in a vast grey ocean by myself with only a life jacket keeping me barley above the roaring waves.  Other times I felt like an animal at the zoo.  Tons of people staring at me through glass and feeling somewhat on display.  While people's intentions were good, I hated the attention and feeling as though our problems were for all the world to see. Those were rough days of either feeling completely alone or in the center of some terrible attention I had no desire to be in.  Running was something that I turned to once again. I would run all the time.  When my feelings were swelling inside me I would run.  I would also run to forget temporarily and to transport myself to some alternative world where all I needed to worry about was the playlist on my iPod.  I would push myself to go harder and longer. I enjoyed the pain I felt physically because it made me forget the emotional pain.  I had something to turn to and lean on when it felt like I had nothing.  Eventually this led to some health issues.  Bradycardia, orthostatic hypotension, amenorrhea, weight loss and low potassium did not look good on me.  This was when running taught me balance at the time in my life the word "balance" was the stupidest word, ever. I was medically forced to take time off.  As devastating as this was, I was able to realize just how much I loved the sport.  I did everything to get better as fast as I could. I took six weeks off a crucial time in training, but still came back to run some decent times.  This time in life taught me to dig deep, rely on God and take better care of myself.

After high school I went to Australia to do Youth With A Mission.  Most mornings I would run before class to the Pacific Ocean.  I have some of the greatest memories of the sweet Australian sunshine on my back as I would meander through the city of Surfers Paradise.  I would sit by the beach for a while and just absorb everything I was learning in classes and in life.  The ocean breeze and soft sand always kept me there longer then I intended.  These morning runs gave me stability and normalcy as I was a nineteen year old small town girl living in a different country.  I learned that no matter where I go or how much my life changes, running will keep me grounded.

Into my early adulthood I've still consistently run.  Some seasons I've run more and some less. When late nights of studying would leave me brain fried I would go for a quick shake-out.  I would return more rejuvenated and able to retain more.  If I was overwhelmed by the insurmountable amount of reading ahead of me I would run to procrastinate, but somehow it made my tasks seem more manageable.   If I run before work I find I'm less stressed and think clearer. Little things won't get to me as much.  Now my life is stable and so is my running.  My training regime is boring, but I absolutely love it.  I feel so lucky to be able to do what I do. As I venture in adulthood I'm learning that life is a process.  There are ups and downs just like training. There are exciting times, times of stagnancy and times of challenge.  Through all times I learned that the best way to get through and process anything is to just put one foot in front of the other.

So here I am, no longer a closet runner.  I encourage everyone out there to do what makes them feel alive and to give that life to others.  

My little place in the big world

I firmly believe everyone should have a place to escape from the stress of life.  A place to pray, to think, to dream and to consider possibilities beyond boundaries that society places.  This place shouldn't be fancy or expensive to get to, but rather easily accessible.

My place has always been along the river.  Anyone who would happen to remotely glance at my social media accounts would see I love taking pictures along the Susquehanna River.  For me it's more then a cool place to take pictures and post to Facebook once in a while.  Since I grew up about 1,000 feet from the river it has always been a place I loved to go.   Now I live a twenty five minute drive away, but I still find myself going there just as often as when I lived at home.

Today as I was running the trail I did many times before I thought of all the experiences I had throughout my life along the three mile stretch.  It was where I learned how to pick out rocks that looked like certain shapes to paint with my Grandma.  It was where I had my first date, my first kiss, my first real star gaze, my first picnic and many other momumental occasions in my life.  When I had my first heart brake I went to a secluded part of river and cried for hours.  When I had my first patient death I stayed strong at work, but when I clocked out I drove straight to the river.  With my knees tucked to chest I cried for the loss and contemplated my strength as a caregiver.  After almost  every test in nursing school I would reduce the anxiety of not knowing my score yet by either running along the trail or just staring up at the sky praying I passed.

It's hard to think of a time where there was an important decision or pressing situation and I didn't go to river.  It's the place in the world I feel closest to God.  It's the place where I'm free. God has answered prayers and worked in my life that I know have been a result of the prayers I prayed along the river.  Some of them are concrete and I would love to share them, and others are just between Him and I.

The river has shared in my greatest victories and defeats.  It sees me almost everyday through all seasons.  I know the best places for a spring picnic.  I will drop everything to go for a run in the summer.  When Autumn comes I'll watch the leaves on the trees change colors on the hills across the river.  During winter I love when the water turns an icy blue and the snow rests on the bare trees.

If you're my friend you may have walked the river with me.  And if you did, thank you.  By walking with me you're speaking my love language and joining me in my biggest pastime.

If you have a place you go that means something to you, share it!  I love to learn about places that hold significance to others.  If you don't have one yet I encourage you to find one.  It could be as small as a bedroom or as large as a soccer field.  As long as you can get there often and enjoy it.

The light is always on in the break room

So long time no post. Seriously, I don't mean to start with some sort of apology for not keeping up with this like I intended to because the only one who set up some sort of expectation about how often this blog would be updated was myself. I didn't want to start blogging because something new, crazy or exciting was happening in my life; but rather because writing brings me freedom. It's easy for me to settle into a rhythm of life that does not leave enough time for doing things like writing. Mainly because it requires outside thought, time and some sort of structure. So here I sit (or rather lie snuggled up with my laptop in bed) on this warm winter morning. Life is good, I am good and I look forward to sharing with you.


When I woke up this morning I looked at my messy room, glanced at my phone and was disappointed for waking up too early. I went downstairs and and realized I forgot something at the store yesterday. As I ate I thought about what I would wear to church. In my head I could hear my mom telling me I need new clothes because I've been wearing the same outfits since high school. She wants me to buy new clothes, but lately I just haven't had the interest. Then I start to feel bad for not having an interest in fashion like her, and maybe if I cared more my life in some strange way would be better. I look at the coffee maker, see the level is empty and wished remembered to fill it up last night. I look at my texts and realize I didn't text someone back. In the first thirty minutes Ive been up I've had at least twenty negative thoughts pertaining to my actions, appearance and lifestyle.


Nothing bad or uncommon happened this morning. I'm not writing this because I woke up unusually depressed or pessimistic about myself. In fact had I not taken the time to write, this morning would have gone down in the books as just another typical morning. What really surprises me is how many critical thoughts cross my mind relating to me as a person or my actions. When I slowed down this morning and gave this some thought I was sad because I hadn't even given myself the grace to be up for a whole hour to live a day free from negative thoughts.


Considering what others may view of a person sometimes has little correlation with how that person actually views themselves. A person could have best best spouse, job, grades, looks, friends, car or house and still be unable to look past their own deficits and shortcomings. We can only see the tip of the iceberg in others. Therefore it may surprise us that those who we think have the character of Mother Teresa or have the cleanest house may be struggling with the same feelings of self negativity, inadequacies or insecurity.


I could always do more, I could always be better. I could always do more, I could always be better.


This is the little voice in my head that allows for self deprecation to flow so easily. It's not even like I feel this is a bad thing and by some people's standards may even be considered a good way to live. I mean, how is progress ever made without the mental push of the individual to get things done. However when I look at all the qualities I lack, all the qualities I want and what I need to do to get there ; it is often seems daunting and overreaching. So instead of taking steps in the right direction to get there I find staying in a place of complacency and stagation is easier. Being hard on myself breeds nothing productive, but rather the opposite. Instead of moving onward, I'll stay stuck in the same place with some negative self esteem to go alongside it.


If I knew last night I would be writing on this topic I would have been surprised, (but also overjoyed because I was really getting down on myself for not blogging for a while…See how easy it starts…) I wouldn't say I have some terrible self esteem issue that warrants any particular attention. A while a ago that was not the case, but I think I've come a long way. However when I look at my thought patterns a little more closely I realize the journey is far from over.


I think a lot more people around us are in the same boat, but it's easy to feel like we are the only ones. Beautiful Sue has the best fiancé, her amazing parents are funding her lavish wedding, she's great at her job, runs a non-profit, cans produce from her own garden and everyone loves her. What would she have have in common with me when it comes to self negativity? I mean what does she even have to be negative about? The funny thing is there no line of accomplishment that one can reach to be free from this struggle. Even if we fed a whole third world country or kept our home pristine for a year we would still find something we're not doing right. We will never be enough and no level of accomplishment will suffice for negating all feelings of our inadequacies.


What do we do? Where do we start? If I can't ever be enough, what's the point of trying? I think the first step is realizing that we can't fix this on our own. Running a marathon, saving money and crossing things off the never ending to-do list may temporarily help. But the next day there will be more goals to achieve and more opportunities to mess up. We know we are fallible, so it's bound to happen. I know when I acknowledge this and set my heart on Christ these feelings subside. Here are some verses that help me refocus when I feel like I don't measure up.


"To the praise and the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved." Eph 1:6


"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good working in you will complete it until the day of Jesus." Phil 1:6


"There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Rom 8:1


When we seek Christ and discover his acceptance for us is when we will fully be able to accept ourselves. Despite his perfection and our sins he loves us, embraces us and desires relationship. If he who created the world and was perfect accepts us as children, I think we can stop being so hard on ourselves. Everyone is on their own journey with this and it's not our job to compare ours with anyone else's. When I'm feeling inadequate or like I'm not not accomplishing what I need to my first instinct is not to run to God. This is because I see the Lord as perfect and myself as not, so therefore he will judge me just like I do to myself. It works exactly the opposite. Classic Sunday School answer will confirm this, however when it's experienced in real life it goes from head knowledge to heart knowledge. What a peaceful feeling it is to know we not only accepted the way we are, but loved and embraced.


In daily life when my the mantra in my head will fire about me not being good enough, not doing enough and overall life negativities; I'll think about my break room at work. Hospitals never close, and the same kind of show is always running. When I clock out of work and go to the break room to get my coat the work flow doesn't stop, and when I get to work 12 hours later the show doesn't start because I just there. No, the workflow has been continuing the whole time. People are working hard, and the light in the break room never turns off. At my workplace and so many workplaces the job is never done, no matter how many hours one works. In life, there will always be another task to complete, some bill to pay or something we want to procrastinate on. Even if I spend more time medicating on God's word and getting better with negative thoughts there will still be some sort of outstanding task I need to do. I think acknowledging this is important. I look forward to learning how to balance my life in a way that I can get things done while at the same time giving myself grace to know when I need a break. We need to find times to rest and reflect and just be sometimes. This is necessary for a more centered life.


I hope you have a great week and remember:

At least I'll always know

When my toes grow numb from walking home in the rain on dark, cold nights…
At least I'll always know I'm not far from a warm house.

For the times when my thoughts run wild and creativity is flooding my mind…
At least I'll always know I have many avenues to express myself.

The times I feel like I can never obtain perfection at my job…
At least I'll always know I have something better to strive for.

For all the work scenarios I take home with me in my thoughts…
At least I'll always know I'm doing something I'm passionate about.

The times my sides have hurt from laughing too hard…
At least I'll always know it's easy for me to find humor in any situation.

When I think about all the unanswered questions I've had in my life...
At least I'll always know that the more mysteries I pursue, the more I find out just how little I know.

When I miss my friends who moved far away…
At least I'll always know I know the coolest people who live life fearlessly, and for that I am constantly inspired.

For the many times I lament about the clothes on my floor…
At least I'll always know I have options of clothing to wear and two hands to pick them up.

When the winter cold sets in and I start to get sad…
At least I'll always know I know how good the warm sun feels.

On the days my body hurts, but I want to run anyway…
At least I'll always know I'll never love my love for running.

When my face turns red from reading past journal entries…
At least I'll always know that I'm constantly progressing.

When song lyrics play in my mind at all times during the day…
At least I'll always know I'll never lose my love for music.

Those times that I need to get out and escape the momentary complications of daily life…
At least I'll always know the river will always be there and flowing in the same direction.

The times I've been insecure about feeling "different"…
At least I'll always know that I'm not like anyone else.

For those nights when the clatter of wind wakes me up from running across my window panes…
At least I'll always know I have a shelter to protect me.

When I hear the sound of the door open or smell something sweet baking in the kitchen…
At least I'll always know I have the dearest housemates.

For all the places I wish to travel and sites I day dream of seeing…
At least I'll always know I'll never lose my love for adventure.

And those days I wonder If I'll ever find love…
At least I'll always know I'm capable of loving.

The times I've stood back and seen how the Lord has guided my life…
At least I'll always know that I have a savior who knows me personally.