Beyond Social Media

Last night I posted some pictures on Facebook.  It was a beautiful Friday night, we were in a beautiful spot and I was with some beautiful people.  After dinner together our neighbor friends, my brother and I took our dogs down to the river and went exploring off the trail.  We had some good laughs and nice talks. The memories we captured I'll go back to and smile when they come to mind.  From the looks of what I posted last night and the past few days it may look like my life is positive and maybe outdoorsy.  From the looks of my timeline everything is great.  I'm usually smiling or posting some random thing I'm doing.

But people only see a very small fraction of my life.  No one knew about the feelings of loneliness and doubt I experienced just hours before we went out.  No one saw me sitting on the curb of Wendy's Thursday night at 11:30 pm because I was too tired to cook dinner after work.  No one sees my messy room where half of my clean clothes are still in the wash basket and the other half are slowly becoming friends with the dirty clothes pile.

I would say that I am a happy person.  I have so much to be thankful for.  In fact, many amazing things happen in my life everyday that it would be way overboard if I documented it all.  However, I think a problem can lie if we perceive what others post on Facebook, Instagram and other social media as exactly how their life goes.

Every day there's a few posts related to fitness goals accomplished.  Before and after pictures are documented after the completion of a thirty day shred or sixty days of "clean eating" or whatever.  Despite my best intentions, I can count on one hand how many sit-ups I did this summer (and I was still sore the next day).  And I can promise that the bowls of ice cream  consumed far exceeds that number.  I scroll through social media to see moments captured by happy couples; holding hands and gazing into the sunset in perfect lighting.  I feel a slight pang, because I don't know when that time will come for me.  I see others days, vacations, clean rooms, fitness accomplishments and creative ideas.  It is so easy to feel a sense of inadequacy purely based on what others post on social media.  Sometimes I even feel behind in life or this sense that I'm not where I should be.  The funny thing is that seeing someone's post about a ten mile run never motivated me enough to get out the door and go on one myself.  It just left me feeling like "I should do that..someday, sometime.."

I know I'm not the only one that has felt like their life is less exciting after seeing someone's life changing trip across Central America.  And I also know I'm not the only one who loves scrolling through their news feed when they have a minute.  Social media is good, and I love seeing what my friends are up to who I don't get to see often.  It is also fun to document memories with friends when you're all together and the laughs just keep coming.  The problem starts when we're sitting home alone and we start comparing our lives to other's daily highlights.  We can not get sucked into the comparison trap that is so easy to get tangled in.  Galatians 1:10 says "For am I now seeking approval of man or of God?  Or am I trying to please man?  If I were trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."  We each have unique lives that are telling a story so amazing that Facebook just can't cover.  We live in such a time of quick, instant gratification that it's hard to remember the inevitability that our lives will have slow times and fun doesn't  always abound every three seconds.  Sometimes we will have nothing to do on a Friday night, and that's okay.  No one is less of a person because of this.  I believe these moments happen more then talked about, but there's this underlying pressure to always needing to be doing something "cool".  I would blame the recent uprise in social media for this because we're constantly bombared with other's daily highlight reels.  I wonder what life was like fifteen years without Facebook. There was probably less keeping in touch with long distance friends, but probably more freedom and contentment because we didn't have access to always see what our friends were up to.

Social media can only capture so much, and we are in control of what we put on.  It only makes sense that we want to post things that capture us at our best.  Everyone has low points daily and in life in general.  Yes, this isn't earth shattering news, but seems to be easy to slip the mind when all we see are certain things. It's also easy for thoughts to creep in like "I'm the only one going through this issue." or "I'm the only one with a boring life."  This is so far from the truth.  We shouldn't go to Facebook for validation for these thoughts, but so often we do. It is only when we learn to embrace our uniqueness with the lives and circumstances we've been given, that we can then generate a positive change in our own lives.  Real change does not come looking outside in on the life of someone else.  Living vicariously through another person does more harm then good.  If we find ourselves starting to feel less than, it is best to just put down the phone, go for a walk and just be thankful for the breath in our lungs.  Each of us has amazing, God given gifts.  We have a heart beat for a reason and we each have so much to offer the world. No amount of trips, friends or workouts make anyone's life better then someone else's.  No matter if you did 400 sit-ups or 400 minus 396; you're life is telling a beautiful story.  And whether or not it is documented on Facebook is besides the point.

This isn't a post to prompt a halt to the social media. However, if comparison is an issue I would encourage it.  Sometimes a break can be refreshing.  How sad would it be if we were so focused on what talents or accomplishments we lacked  (because we were busy comparing ourselves on Facebook) that we missed out on what we were amazing at and created for?

 I hope you enjoy and embrace the normals, highs and even lows that life brings you today.