Friday evening I took a run across town like I have so many times in my life. In Marietta the nights are darker, but somehow I feel more safe, more secure and more free to be myself. Under the dimly lit street lights I ran down my town's main street admiring resident's newly set-up Christmas decorations. For over two miles down the main part of town I only saw three cars and one pedestrian.
As I make my way further down east I pass my the home of my Grandparents. I see the glow of the television and light of family room on. I can picture my grandparents watching either Jeopardy or NBC news. I smile at the predicability and steadiness of their schedules, and how at any given time I can probably guess what they are doing even if it's been a few weeks since I've seen them. As I run I continue to think how blessed I was to have grandparents that lived so close to me my whole life. I have always known I was never far from a hug, a visit, a hot cup of coffee, a piece of pie or even an adventure. My mind flooded with memories from my childhood at their house playing creative games with my cousins, making paper dolls with grandma and watching Disney movies after school. I think back to the visit I had with them two days before and how good it was to see them, catch up and reconnect. Coming off the heels of Thanksgiving I am reminded of just how special these memories and times of reconnection are. The cool of evening sets in through my layers and into my skin as I run back to the place I am staying.
Life changes fast in sixteen hours. Life can change fast in an instant, a blink of an eye or a flash of fire.
Around noon on Saturday I watched in shock and disbeleif as my grandparents home was lit up in flames. The urgent look on the faces of the brave first responders told the truth that this was a big deal. Relief poured over me when I realized they were both safe and sound. Fire companies from numerous departments came to offer assistance. Community members from all over showed up to see what was happening. I found my family in the midst of the crowd and we just held each other for while not quite knowing what to say. My mind was a haze and head was just spinning. I thought back to the run I had in the exact location the evening before where everything was peaceful, predictable and secure. Now the circumstances were extremely different and life was changing before our very eyes. I never watched a fire like I did yesterday. Just when I thought the smoke would clear and it would be over, more flames would set in. I watched the valiant effort of brave men and woman using strength and knowledge to combat the flames and smoke. I saw windows brake and people climbing on roofs to get to the root of the problem. Even at a distance and standing on the sidelines the smell of smoke was so powerful that I couldn't imagine what the firefighters were going through.
Sometimes food is the answer to everything. After a few hours of watching the horror of the fire, the scene was settling. The investigation is still going on, but the fire was out and they were about to board up the house. Dominos heard about the situation and donated many pizzas to our family. My cousin lives a block away from my grandparents, so we were able to come together and share a meal of pizza and ham pot pie.
My grandparents spent the night in her guest room. I asked my cousin if I could get the room ready for them. She said sure, thanked me, and gave me a tight hug. What she didn't know is I was just as, if not, more thankful. Many aspects of the day went wrong and the fix was beyond anyone's control. It is such a helpless feeling to see something tragic happen before your eyes to someone you love. I wanted so bad to stop the fire, hit rewind and have the whole thing never happen. I wanted to sit in my Grandma's kitchen like I did two days ago, talk about drawing and have everything be normal. Instead I had a mattress as my canvas, a fitted sheet and some blankets. For the next twenty minutes I made the bed in the best way I knew how. I thought about my old school nursing teacher dropping a quarter on the sheet and watching it bounce. I folded the sheets at the top, backed up reassessed it, and then did it again. My wanting the room to be perfect was my small way of wanting everything to be okay. It gave me a tiny grasp of control and way to help them spend their first night away from home a little better.
Tonight I ran across town again just like I did two nights ago. The cold night air was just as refreshing and now tonight Christmas lights on garland illuminated the main section of Market st. Peace and exhilaration came over me as I passed the twinkling lights, beautiful garland and the pattern of lantern, star, lantern, star. As I got closer to the home of my grandparents the smell set in first. Like a bad memory the smell of old smoke lingered from at least a block away. And just like elevated troponins after a heart attack, the bad smell was a reminder that something horrible happened. I watched from a distance as a minivan slowed down to see the house and then drove away into the night.
I ran to the house and my heart kind of stopped (if that's even possible to still be alive.) I thought of all the memories I made of a lifetime of going to Grandma and Pop's. Summers on the porch swing, sleepovers, hot chocolate and cinnamon toast, exploring the attic and admiring my Grandma's artwork. I stood there alone, looked at the house and almost felt betrayed by something inanimate. "How could you burn on fire?!" I wanted to yell.
As I ran back I continued to think and reminisce. It occurred to me that all of the memories had nothing to due with the house, but my grandparents that lived there. They lived and dwelled there and were the one's responsible for creating all the amazing memories I grew up with. They raised my dad and his two brothers, worked hard and lived a good life in the strong two story brick house. They have stories to tell and more lessons I can learn about being a hard worker and good person. Shelter is good, and necessary for survival, but what is more important are the people that live inside. They are okay and for that I am most thankful. The road ahead is long. I can't really fathom it now. I desire for this experience to bring us closer together. I hope and expect that good will come out of this situation that we can't even imagine at the moment.
Thank you to all the firefighters, police officers, Red Cross volunteers and community members for your diligence, care and support during this time.
