I have really been enjoying my new job as a nurses aide.   However, it is a different rhythm to get used to.  I would work between five and six days a week with my mom but no more then eight hours a day.  In my new job I work between eight and twelve hour shifts.  What I like about that is I get some days off. While I put in about the same hours each week, in some ways I feel like I have a lot more free time.  This is not every day though.  These past few days of having off have been a time for me to step back and re evaluate how I spend my time.

Living at home has been such a tremendous blessing both emotionally and financially.  I know my time here is limited and I won't live here forever.  I try to keep the house clean when I'm away and help my family with any errands or projects they need help with, and I know they do the same for me.  Once a week I'll scrub the floors and relive the glory days of when I was a cleaning lady.  It works out great because my family can walk on clean floors and my hands smell like Febreez All Purpose cleaner for the rest of the day.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I spend a lot of time on the river trail.  I have really enjoyed my mornings of sitting at "my" bench, looking out at the river and praying to the God who made the beautiful nature that surrounds me.  This season of my life has been a lot of figuring out who I am, why I am the way the way I am, and what to do with all of that.  It has been a time of letting go and being free, and being thankful for what I have instead of dwelling on what I don't.  When I go meditate on the goodness of God  I really feel content in what I have instead of insecure of what I have not accomplished.  I realize that the Lords timing in all things is perfect, and the center of his will is the best place to be, even if I don't understand.  I love my times with the Lord alone in nature.  In the quiet stillness of my heart, I feel his love for me.  It doesn't have to be when I'm at the river, doing good, or thinking "God things".  God's love surrounds me when I'm at work and I'm in situation and I dont know what to do, or when I'm frustrated with my lack of progress on an issue I've been working on for so long.  I love when I feel Gods hand on me when I'm alone praying or worshipping, but to be honest Im much more impacted when I feel his love come on me in those day to day moments.

Working the 2nd shift has turned me into a lazy morning person. I must say laid back mornings must be the best part of working second shift.  Most folks retire in the evening and settle into bed, but for me it's the opposite.  I work all evening so the morning is my time to relax, grab a second cup of coffee and watch the today show.  I probably spend more time in jammies then I ever have in my life.  I feel like such a bum saying that but it's oh so true and my guilty pleasure.

I hope this gives a little window into who I am and what I like. More to come soon!

where are you now?

I laughed a little bit yesterday when I saw the time span between the dates of my previous and most recent entry.  My life's a little different now than 2 years ago.  Just to establish some common ground, here is a few facts about where I am.

• I am a 21 year old female and I reside in Lancaster county Pennsylvania
• After YWAM (Youth With A Mission, an accredited short term missions school that has hundreds of bases worldwide) in Queensland, Australia I went back home and started working for my mom's cleaning business.
• While working, I took a full course load at HACC (a local community college)  for general education with a degree in healthcare in mind.
• This past fall I got a full time job at Lancaster General Hospital as a Patient Care Assistant (which is like a nurses aide.)  
• Feeling conflicted about whether nursing was right for me, I saw the job as a great opportunity to see if I was cut out for the medical field. (I love it! But more on that later :)  )
• I cancelled all my classes at HACC for the fall 2012 semester and focused on working.  I have all of my nursing prerequisites done.  All that there is to complete are clinicals and nursing specific classes which start every August.  Until August of 2013, I will be just working.  It will still take me 2 years to do, but my course load will be lighter.  
• I applied last month to Lancaster General College of Nursing and Health Sciences (which I think is the college with the longest name around here)  The jury's still out on whether I'm accepted or not, but I'm  not too worried. (Shameless religious plug: God has brought me all this way and led me to where I am now.  I know that if it is his will for me to get into this school I will and if not he will make a way for something else. So even though I check the mail twice a day and wonder if it will happen I know that it's out of my hands, but into someone's that are much better. I know God will give the admissions person discernment if I am the right candidate for the program.)  
• So *if* I get into school I plan on working as an PtCA for two more years until I get my R.N.. Since I'm an employee the hospital will help me pay for tuition!  Until then I am just working and gaining lots of experience.  
• I work 2nd shift on a cardiac medical/surgical floor.  
• I still live at home but gained 2+ family members. My mom got remarried in July so I have a stepdad and a stepsister.  
• My favorite place to be is by the river.  I live in a small river town right along the Susquehanna River.  Rarely a day goes by that I don't go down.  The paved trail by my house has provided my town many miles of recreation and a park with a bench which is the best place to think and pray.  When I am dealing with an issue I'll ride my bike to the trail and 3 miles later I'm at the park.  The park has trees cleared out and opens up to this great view.  I can sit there forever watching all the water flowing in a steady direction, the birds on the rocks and the beauty of the small mountains with little cookie cutter cabins staring back at me.  Any grievance I have or issue I'm dealing with slowly dissolves as the beauty of nature surrounds me.  I realize that I start to breathe a little slower and my body relaxes. What Jesus said from Luke 22 always come to mind when I look out at the river: 

  Luke 12:22-34

  New International Version (NIV)

  Do Not Worry

  ²² Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. ²³ For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. ²⁴ Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵ Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life^[a]? ²⁶ Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

  ²⁷ “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ²⁸ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! ²⁹ And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. ³⁰ For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. ³¹ But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

  ³² “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. ³³ Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. ³⁴ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

  
  

  I hope this gives a little window into what I have been up since I blogged last.  It's a sunny Saturday and that means I'll be at the Susquehanna. :)  God bless.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I'm not sure if my hands are shaking from my apprehension or the due to the large amount of coffee I drink which has always been a morning ritual. Nevertheless, shaky hands and all, I will muddle my way through this first blog post.  I'm sure my grammar will not be perfect, and those who care about spelling and punctuation will feel smarter about their abilities which I severely lack.   

Welcome back to my blog.  If anyone is out there in cyberspace I blew off the dust to this old blog which was originally a journal chronicling my journey as a DTS student in Gold Coast Australia.  My last post was dated back from when I was still in YWAM, wide eyed about the prospect of going home to America and relishing in all God did during the past six months.  While I was away I enjoyed blogging as a form to keep folks updated.  I also enjoyed using it as an avenue to regurgitate all of the new, fabulous things I was learning. 

 Now that I am back on sweet American soil, back in my same room, drinking the same Maxwell House coffee as when I left, leaves the perfectly acceptable question:  Why go back to blogging?  Easy six word answer:  Because it is easier than journaling.   A more honest justification is because this is something I should have done a long time ago.  Not because I need an audience to fill my ego or to justify any wisdom or insight I write about, but because I feel like the Lord leading me to write again.  And while I try to journal (and still do)  I am the realizing that I am the typical 21st century young adult and typing is much more convenient.  

My friend Amelia and I were out this week and I was bouncing some of these thoughts off her.  While we drove I told her about how much I love talking to/ listening to ideas and thoughts from people in their twenties. (although I am a bit partial because I'm 21)  But really, the 20s is a fascinating stage of life! It's a paradox of thinking one has life all figured out one minute, then the next minute realizing they haven't got a clue.  It's a time of tremendous growth and maturity both physically and emotionally, but also forced on by society as we are confronted with real world issues and financial responsibilities.  This stage in life is a time of short attention spans, having a passion for causes, dreaming of the future, paying the first months rent, asking your parents hard questions, and finding yourself. With the feeling of being invincible we take any issue head on and an opinion to back it up whether it's right or wrong.  I love this stage because of all the self discovery.  Sometimes I feel like my mind is going to explode with all the thoughts in my head and my need to always connect the dots to issues. 

I am excited to be getting my feet wet in the blogging world again.  However I have put this off for so long, I'm a bit apprehensive because apart of me feels since I am 21 and not 19, my opinions have more merit.  I intend this to be a journal of sorts documenting personal life events, but more importantly my journey with Jesus Christ, my Lord and savior, who is not only the ultimate source of wisdom and knowledge but my Father, healer, protecter and savior. I have found encouragement in blogs about revelation they had about God and spiritual matters and think it is a great thing to share. So if you're able to bear run on sentences, the occasional misspelling and some thoughts from a lady whose 21 stay tuned!